Damaged Goods
by chiefraz
Summary: Lets take a big left turn into WTF and visit Hakkai when the smile drops, his 'dark passenger' takes the wheel and we get to go along for the ride.


Damaged Goods

I didn't want to do it

Cho Gonuo didn't want to do it either....oh hell who am I kidding of course he did. He was even more tired of Cho Hakkai the walking Thorazine grin, Cymbalta smile and the Effexor face then I was. Gods, keeping up that stupid persona was starting to kill me, so I decided to let Gonou out to play and do the killing for me.

Oh don't give me that look, you knew I was damaged goods when you met me. Hello, killer here. I took out an entire village of humans and killed....no that is not the right word I'd use for the demons. Hmmmm, let me think, what would work better? Urban renewal, that's it. What I did was create an opportunity for the ultimate urban renewal experience in the realm of spiritual growth and communing with the creator of your choice. Geeze I should run for Congress to be able to come up with shit that fast.

Stop struggling and don't even think about calling up that nasty little hunk of cloth around your shoulders Sanzo. You even think one word of that sutra and I'll snap your goddamn neck with it.

Anyway, were was I? Ah yes, damaged goods. There were issues long before Kannons death, all those years in the orphanage; terrible things happen to little boys in places like that. And there was too much, way too much, the big boys, the bullies the ones who preyed on the small and weak. Do you know what it's like to be called a liar and be punished for it when the person who did it is standing right there and is helping in the punishment? Do you?! It took a little time, but one day that boy, that person who hurt me disappeared. The nuns thought he ran away and were so sad.

*****Sigh...all together now...awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*****

But the penguins were so happy the next day when they found someone had secretly donated a big side of pork to our poor little orphanage. Just left it on the back step of the cook house wrapped up in brown paper.

Do you know what human beings taste like? Well it ain't chicken, everyone says that. Nope, we taste like pork. Sez something about people doesn't it? A little soy a hint of chili sauce, cook at 325 for 20 minutes per pound, yummmmmmmmmmmm, yum. Oh don't worry, you wouldn't end up in the soup any time soon, you are wayyyy too tough and stringy. Though a good marinate...... nah there is not enough meat tenderizer in this world to make you soft enough to stir fry. Through it would be a hoot to cook you up and feed you to the Monkey boy. Oh the possibilities are endless.

So back to the orphanage, after that, when ever some little brat would disappear, the meat would appear and the nuns would all praise Jesus and I would braise whoever was on the menu that night.

But back to my little problem, you found out about my little past time. A little decapitation here, a tiny dismemberment there. A man has got to have a hobby. Our travels present such a great opportunity to pursue my little obsession, doesn't take much to find just the right subjects. The bully, a drunk, the gambler or whore. People nobody would miss or care to miss. They just turn up dead in such horrible ways. Chi does such wonderful or terrible things to a human body. So I kill and we just leave town. Nobody would ever suspect the Sanzo party on their divine mission to stop the madness wave.

So any way, what do I do with you? Could kill you out right but the talking heads might take offense and cause me no end of issues. Well, you are the select of Buddha, let's test the quality of his protection. I'm going to leave you in this cellar with my last little playmate, don't scream or fire off your 'pop gun', you are miles from any where any one could even hear you. I'll just tell Goyjo and Goku you didn't want to deal with our stupid asses any more and set off with that nut job priest Hazel and his gorilla boy Gato.

Sounds like a plan to me. So, I'll just take sure those ropes are good and tight, there. You and my play mate can hang together until you figure out how to get out or not.

But just in case you do figure a way of busting loose, don't look for me Sanzo. Ever. Cuz if I ever hear one breath of you being around even the most single glimpse of your face, Goku and Gojyo will be dead before you could do one little bitty thing. Got it? Good.

Goodbye Sanzo.


End file.
